Day 15

currently listening to ; I Remember by Mocca
feeling ; OMG *close my open mouth with my hand*

Yanaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.
haih. kak Leen just called and she said Yana demam.
temperature ; 38 degree celcius.
demit.

you know Yana cannot demam. She cannot get sick. AT ALL. her antibody is si fucking low, meaning theres nothing in her body that can defend her.
both Qayyum and Meera start with demam, look how they are now. still in that different ward.
start with fever je, later on anything can happen. haemoglobin low. platelets low. thouse something something that I cannot pronounce nor spell pon low. everything low.
Yana pulak demam.

eeeeerrrrrgggghhhhh.

tadi petang jumpe Yana, I dragged Ady along sbb pgi dating jalan jalan dgn dia dkt KLCC jap. ingat mau story story jgk la pasal KLCC ni. tp gambar nye pon nan ado, and mood nye pooon nan adoo jgk. tade la nak cite2 nye.

Yana, please. strong sayang strong.
td Mak cite kt aku, mase dia jaga Yana dkt hosp, dia borak2 la dgn Yana. you know what Yana said ;
dia nak naik motor, jalan2 dgn atok. dia nak main dkt playground. nak pgi sini sane. nak itu ini.
tell me, hati mane tak sebak.
tadi pon menangis nangis mak cite kt aku, right after dia hung up phone call dgn kak Leen, teros dia nangis.

deeeem. crying in front of Mak is the last thing I want to do.
I have to be strong for her. no matter what I need to always comfort her and always make her believe that everythings gonna be fine.

Yana, tolong. kuat sayang.
Ashu tanak nangis.
last night, I cried myself to sleep. sedar2 pon mata bengkak, dgn bangun lambat nye lagi.
haih.

aku asik suro Yana be storng.
but,
am I strong enough?

someone I care so much, like I care myself is going away this week.
God, gimme strength.

Pole, I know you reading this. I need you. Seriously.
qayyum dah tak peduli, she is goin away, the other 'she' is missing away, takkan kau pon nak letting me go?
if you want to let me go, tell me. so that I can stop hoping on you.

Yana :(