Day 13

currenty listening to ; I Hate This Part by PCD.
feeling ; pathetic

Yana agak moody today. oh. blame the chemo lah. of course. tomorrow kan dh nak start skola, keje sume kan. so, kak Leen will start working tomorrow. meaning that, Mak have to be in the ward to look up for Yana.
big question ; will Yana be okay?

huwm. Yana ni mmg susah sikit. dia mmg mcm magnet dgn mak dia taw. mmg lekat je. langsung tabule renggang. lagi2 dia dkt hosp ni kan, mmg melekat dgn mak dia lah.

as for tomorrow's preparation, mak dgn kak Leen pon try la test today. nak tengok Yana bule tak tinggal dgn Opah dia. puas la kak Leen ckp dgn Yana yang mama nak pgi work. Yana kene tinggal dgn Opah. tgk dia mcm okay je, tp tak lah okay sgt

next song ; Superhuman by Chris Brown & Kery Hilson
thinking ; dem. how I wish I can have someone that have the same voice as Chris Brown *drooling*

at first, melalak la. tp mak ckp kejap je. around 10mins, then dia okay. sbb dia nampak sendiri mak dia pgi kan. but then, mcm no used jgk la mak dkt hosp. just bule tgk je. dia tak bg Opah dia pegang dia langsung. duduk dekat pon tabule, padahal before this okay je. kalau dia nampak sendiri mak dia pegi, dia okay taw. but now, tak la pulak. so, Opah nye nak salin pampers ke ape ke, sume tabule. ade jgk la td dia melalak, sbb ape ntah. in the end, nurse dtg. pujuk2 dia sume. nasib la dia okay taw. tu pon sbb nurse tu promise nak bwk dia pgi kt tmpat nurse tu, main2 tulis2, pastu dia dduk sembang2 dgn doctor mane ntah. so, dia suke lah. but then, still tanak jgk dgn opah dia.

until la mak dia datang, baru la okay. Opah dia sedih je sbb tadapat pegang ape sume kan. aiyoo. mase aku dtg pon, still bad mood. rupenye, dia merajuk dgn mak dia, sbb tinggal kan dia. haih. nak buat camno. kalau kak Leen tak keje, mne nk dtg duit. ape, ingt duit dtg dr langit kah? tidak same sekali okay. kak Leen pon mmg tanak benti keje, sbb dia tanak la dependent dgn orang sume kan. haih, takpe la. no money, no treatment. right?
Yana is having cancer. treatment nye, medication nye mahal. mmg la all of us bule afford tp, this is for such a looooong period. chemo pon dh 2 tahun, yang lain2 lgi. no matter how concern we are, how sympathy we are, still. money is money. huwm

harap2 esok Yana nak la dgn mak.
2009, routine will be different. so different.

now, everymorning I left the house alone la. sbb mak pagi2 dh pgi hosp.
meaning, aku kene bangun awak. nak peluk ciom mak. restu itu penting. lagi2 aku yg drive sampai ke Bangi. ape2 jadi. haaa. choyyy.

esok Yana's third chemo. makin badmood la minah ni. her chemo is on the evening. jst a minor one. cucuk di vontot sahaje

OH.

Memy buat lawak bodo lagi. Grr

tonight, dia dpt taw yang patient dpt katil Yana namenye Ameera. Mak la. dia pgi cite kt Memy yang si Qayyum dh move to other ward sbb bengkak2 dia tu en, then si Meera ni pon dh move to the same ward, sbb she have the same symptoms as Qayyum did.
then

Memy: oh. bdk kecik dpn katil Yana tu namenye Meera?
Mak : a'ah.
Memy ; oooh. Meera ade Qayyum ade. dua2 nye sakit. elok la tu.

pastu dia sengih sengih pandang muke aku. siot betol.