Kanda (:

come on baby we aint gonna live forever, let me show you all the things that we could do

- Forever, the Veronicas

he's not very familiar here in my blog. I hardly mention his name. but, not anymore ;p

those that always commented my entry might noticed a guy name nizam baharin, or the one i always mentioned as, so-called-kanda. ever heard of it?

anyway, dulu mcm jarang je mention his name sbb he dont have a blog, and aku pon tak berape sure whether he read my blog or not. but after a while, he surely did okay. he is one of my royal stalker readers. haha. now, dia dh ade blog. you can click it here.

I've known him since, huwm. I cant remember. I always heard some stuff bout him. Name dia mmg slalu jugak la di sebut sebut but I didnt know who the heck he is.

until one fine day, I logged in to myspace, and theres a friend request. Nizam Baharin.

my first impression was like, ooow. cute guy add me on myspace, woot wooot. confirm approve. muaahahahaha.

then, view his pictures, skali terperasan this one word, Toek.

I was like, ow-em-g. ini ke Toek nyeeeeee. hahahahaha :D

oow. yup yup. people called him Toek, god knows why. HA HA HA HA. korang tapayah la taw, like seriously. tapayah. haha.

theres lotsa things that brought us close. I cant really put it detail bout it, cause its full of drama, and conspiracy, and secrecy and privacy and, gosh. anything, you named it. haha

at first, I wasnt very comfortable friends with him, due to some reason. lotsa stories, lotsa rumors been passing by from one another, but me, being the one with trust issues, never really trust any of it. I'm more like, 'ow yeh? goosh. yeh? oow. biar lah. oow, okay. haha. ye ar du'.

yup. thats me. never bother much bout it.

as times flew by, we're getting closer and closer. I was still not very comfortable with it. I always had this bad feeling about him. haha. okay, sumpa aku jahat. but, hello. he is a stranger to me, even though mmg la he knew all of my other friends but still, I was soo curious. kenape dia nak kawan dgn aku eh? haha. mcm whattheheck. kau nak ape dri aku dow? hahah.

guess faith does its job. we exchange phone number. tapi, nak text nye mak aaaai, lame kott. its like, change phone number today, tp start text nye was like a month after that kott. haha. tataw la mengape yee. we text with each other and later on, we found ourselves gayut on the phone.

okay. I should stop babbling. straight to the point.

SO, makin lame makin rapat, myspace lah, YM lah, texting lah, on the phone lagi. haha. he called me dinda, I called him kanda. I'm not sure whyy, sumpa aku lupeee. hahaha. our friendship does get rough at times, macam macam kan orang becerita, sumpa mmg drama gile.

but things, getting better when he like started to believe me, he told me bout himself and stuff. I was being a great listener. cheeee, tpi betol ape. I always listened to what he said, try to gave him the best advice, try to comfort him and stuff. macam macam la.

lately, bile sume bende dah mcm exposed, like no more secrets and stuff, we're getting more close. ade this one time, we're like on the phone every night okay. hahaha. the longest time was 6hours. straight ! teror en? hahahaha. from 12am 'till 6am. gile aaah. mmg tak tido semalam. esok nye masing masing membongkang tahengat hengat. haha. and he was like, 'fuyyooo, I gayut dgn my ex pon paling lame 3hours je'. kembang aku kejap doww, hahaha. okay, jap. nak gelak guling guling. HA HA HA HA HA.

jadinye, the reason I posted one special entry for him sebab tonight, he's off to Manchester. further study okay. tu la, bdk pandai sangat, kayooo pulak tu. blaja nak jauh jauh je. haha.

this couple of week, we did fought a lot la. been misunderstanding here and there. lotsa things been happening kan. aku pon mcm like dunno what to do. I dont wanna choose any sides but sometimes I had too. when it comes to peope I love, people I care, I tend to be so defensive about it. so, yea. no elaboration needed bout that la.

the greatest thing when I talked with him kan, like ntah la. we both feel time passes so fast. sedar sedar je, dh 2jam borak. kitorang pon tak sedar kitorang cakap pasal ape. haha. tu ar shite die. He is soooo sarcastic, just like me. haha. so, we do get each other's sarcasm. senang je nak perli perli dia, pastu en, dia ni en, jenis tak menyentap taw. hahaha. sumpa la aku cakap, I always like kutok him, directly taw. if mcm tak puas hati dgn dia, aku cakap straight to the point, but I said in a good way la kan, tade la harsh ke ape. and, his reaction never failed me. He is very positive with I said about him, he's very open bout it. I can say that he knows me very well, he knows me bile aku sentap, he knows me when I'm not okay with what he told me. pastu mamat ni I dont know why but seems like dia pandai pujok. hahaha. he always condemn himself that he is not a sweet talker. muahahahahaha. yea rite. kalau tak pandai pujok, tade nyeee....haaaa. you know what I'm gonna say en. hahaa. tapi, yang paling best la bout him kan, he called me. hahaahaha. he doesnt like it when I called him, dia kate rase mcm tak comfortable. so, no matter what, he will call me back. best en? I knoooowwww. hahaha.

well, I just got off the phone with him. probably this will be the last time we like really talking on the phone. lepasni, kite skype skype je la kott? guess so.

actually, mmg agak shocked la he called sbb about couple of days ago, I was kinda pissed with him, due to some reason that cannot be mention here. I said something very harsh about him, and yes. I kinda feel regret about it. I know I shouldnt say those word to him, but I just did.

jadi, tadi onthephone, we talked bout everything.

he's like convince me why he really likes talking to me, why he really feels comfortable talking all of his stuffs to me, why he really miss me when we're not contacting with each other for so long.

well, kanda ku syg, I do hope that is so not a fake side of yours, cause if that so, you'll be getting pretender side of myself. you know I have trust issues right? so, its not that easy for me to actually swallow everything you told me, but I never stop trying to munch it ;p

seems like this entry gonna be looong. hahaha. I dont know how to actually end this.

oh, I promised to say something nice bout you kan? so, after long and hard thinking bout it *hahahah* I can say that

; I'm so amazed that you never really get bored talking to me.

; I am more amazed that you never really like, huwm how am I supposed to put this into words. you never like melenting, haaaa. melenting when I said something bad to you. like the time I said to you, " you are such a loser, a major loser". harsh kan? but, you are okay. hahaha

; pastu en, I always tanye you soalan soalan yang tak patut ditanyakan. mcm bnde tu so la tade kene mengene with me, still I asked you. pastu, you dh give your answer I'll be doubting about it. tapenah nye nak pecaye. haha, I'll be like, 'haaa. yeke? really? seriously serious?'. and you never get tired to defend yourself.

; I was sooo flattered when you said you adored me. aaawww, trendsetter katenye. haktuuuiii. hahaha

; I know you never like really try to pujok whenever I sentap with you but, ntah. I dunno, theres this some kind aura of yours that eventually I will be like, okayyy with you. hamek kauu, aura konooon nye, waaakakaka

; I did hate you some times, haha, yea, like seriously hate you but the feeling doesnt last long.

; I did force myself to stop contacting with you, stop myself related with you, guess I failed. I dont know why, maybe what you said is true. We're click with each other (;

; lastly, I'm glad that I know you.

waaaaah, suda suda suda. nnt lain jadinyeee. eeewww, I'm being nice towards you, OMG. this is sooo not happening okay. haha. alaa, kasi can sajoooo. you're going dah kan, so saje la tunjuk the nice part of me to you. hahaa.

well, saiful, or ijam or toek, you always be my kanda. I just hope things will get better with your life. I hope you change, be a much better person, be more wiser, be more matured. Dont worry bout your partner, I will take a good care of it. Your partner is my partner too, kite kan share share. haha. OMG. choyyy ;p

thanks for everything. thanks for dragging me in your situation, thanks for calling me and hear you crying, thanks for all the sarcasms, thanks for all the compliments, thanks for adoring me, thanks for never get bored of me, thanks for never getting fed up with my attitude, thanks for talking like you are some kind of rempit when you feel bengang with what I said bout you, thanks for never get tired to defend yourself because I always think of bad things about you, thanks for never bored to convince me with your intentions, thanks for choosing me as your friend, thanks for reading all this crap I write about you, but it does came straight from my heart, no prentending, no faking. truth-full-ness ;p

its very hard of me to admit this but, I'm gonna miss you.

have a safe trip, and dont ever take Elton John as your icon.

HA HA HA

p/s : ITunes off. seems like everybody having a rough time to let him go. huwm.