kakak Cantik

no matter how upset you are, no matter how hate you are, there will be a time when you feel, 'ooh. this is such a waste', or ' you know what, just fuck it off lah'.

when you have been closed with someone for such a long period, its not easy just to forget it. at some point, we as a human usually remember all those bad memories that the good ones. No matter how happy you are, scars that engraved in your heart from your bitter past wont easily be fade awayy.

as being human, me myself was never perfect. I did and still make mistakes and I will try my hardest to be the best person I could ever be. Nothing can ever come easily, even though you think you had chosen the right path, but the presents of such various complications can lead you to the wrong path. Forgive but never forgets, thats exactly how I am. I always forgive people that to wrong to me, but I will never ever forget what he or she did to me. Never ever.

in some way, you may think that I'm okay with whatever happened, but you'll never know.
yes, I am being nice to everyone. You treat me like shit, I pissed off, you apologized and I accept it. But not in a million years that I will ever treat you like I did before.
sorry, I have trust issues. But, I dont seek for a revenge, I'm more like, come on, be nice. sooner or later, you're gonna get it back, but not from me.
one word : Karma

all this feeling will eventually fade away. trust me, it will. sooner or later, little by little. slowly, it will fade away.still remember her?

few days ago, I got a very shocking news. her mother got admitted in hospital. Her mother is suffering for a kidney failure. Her conditions was kinda bad.
Me, was her friend, her was close friend, her was bestfriends, couldnt hide my feelings that I actully do feel worried and sorry for her.
besides, her mom got admitted as the same hospital as Yana, I should visit them and show my support to her family.went there for the first time, she wasnt there. Had a lil chit chat with her sister and her father. and off we went back.

today, we visit again. and without any preparation or even expectation, she was there.

there was a 30sec awkward moments. but being drama queen, which was both of us were soo good at, we both tried our best to hide the feeling.
had lil chat chat with her, nothing much. lil updates bout her mom's conditions. then we're off to 4th floor, where Yana was there.

Yana and Aiman knows that she was there at the hospital. those two little kids begged us to meet her. Ady text her and she did came to 4th floor and meet Yana.

and this is what we get.I know how much Yana missed her. Yana adored her so much. Yana called her kakak cantik, Yana wanted to be as beautiful as she is.

the moment she went to Yana's bed, I wasnt there. Chin and Ady was there with them. I just sat the front couch, all by myself, not braved enough to face the situation.
after a while, I came to Yana's bed and look at them. Yana was couldnt stop hugging her. she hugged and hugged and hugged.Yana, she was the one that noticed kakak cantik in her latest ads. she will be soo thrilled just to see the ads because kakak cantik was in there.

huwm. anyway, this post is tooo crap. but I couldnt resist to delete anything that I just typed.

kakak cantik, hopefully your mom will get thru it. she's a very strong lady. insyallah, everything will be just fine.as for now, I need them. they're my morphine

p/s : thats how Yana looks like now. her hair, gone baby gone.