Thursday, Sept 18th, 2008

as usual, the day started early, I woke up and found out that I am all alone, kak Leen had gone to work and my parents balik kmpung, they need to settle something.

bangun, mandi2, siap2, chow pi college.


they called me birthday girl, which blushed me. hehe. and the moment I walked into class, Wawa, my twinnie, sang Happy Birthday to me, LOUD. haha. so, everyone in my class knew it was my birthday, so, I'm getting blusherette. hehehe :P

class finished before 11, so, I'm free the whole day. but I dont know what to do. I dont have money, minyak kerete pon mcm cukup2 nak balik rumah, its puasa, its morning, my parents not here, so, what should I do. huwm. I thought, this day will be boooooored :]


as I reached home, mesin kain sume2, then, I was like huwm. baking. lets bake. so, I baked my famous chocolate chip cookies. Mira cookies, mira cookies. haha. I made alot, I want to introduce the cookies to my relatives, hope they like it. anyway, a lot of things playing around my head, but I dont want to think about it. Lets just go through the day. so, I baked and baked and baked, all alone, by myself, on my birthday. sounds pathetic kan? takpe lah. I know, as you read this, there will be other people cheering for me. 'haha. pdn muke, dh kene tngal dgn kwn, sorang2 kau. haha.. dlu ade bf, bekepit tak ingt, skrang sorang2 padan muke. lone ranger la kau'.

they will be peoples talking those kind of stuff to me, whoever it is, I dont know, and I dont give a damn. I didnt left my friends, and yes, I chose to be like this, on my own. aaaah. stop thinking bout it, buat semak kepale je.

yup, call me old skool, but baking really comforts me

but an hour later, Chin came and she brought cake ! aaaaw, thank youuuuu. I almost forgot it was my birthday because I felt so empty, nothing ever excites me. Luckily she brought cakes, well, at least, ade la jugak rase birthday.

Many people been whining to me, sibuk betol dgn 18th brthday, FYI people, turning 18 is such a big deal to me. You may think it was stupid, its the same thing that happen every year, and you turning a year older, why should you be excited, you should be sad because you turning to be OLD.

for me, turning 18 is like turning to another life. being 18, your life is actually changing, little by little. I drive now, can you imagine how it feels like driving on your on to a shopping mall, buying groceries all by yourself, yes, you have parents, you have families, you have friends, but still, you on your own. On that moment, I felt like, daaamn. I'm on my own. I am responsible for myself. Mase yang kene kacau dgn nigga tu, I was scared. I was never alone before. No. Never. My parents wont allowed me to go anywhere if I'm alone, thats when I was with Qayyum, he's always there with me because he knew my parents, he knew that my parents wont allowed me to be alone, thats why, no matter where I go, he will try to be with me. So, now, I'm all alone, drive to college everyday alone, going almost everywhere alone, I'm on my own.
turning 18 is a big thing for me because, finally, I'm done with school. 6 years in primary and 5 years in secondary, now I'm done with it. Yes, I do miss the life, but hey. move on. grow up okayy.
END. too many things to be listed and I know, you guys couldnt care less bout it kan. haha. fucker :D

oh. Pole did text me, wished for my birthday, kinda surprised he still remember it. yes, Pole my FRIEND *hahaha* aku sayang kau lagi. ade lagi saki baki nye di hati ku ini. PFFTT. haha.
Biha text me, just a simple "Happy Birthday ;) " . huwm. well, better than nothing.
and NO.
Qayyum did not text me. NO. NO. NO. not even a simple 'Hpy B-day' or whatever. Nothing. so, huwm. hey Qayyum, if you're reading this, your last year wished is still in my phone, I listen to that. Call me desperado, I DONT CARE.

told you lotsa things goin in my head, but I dont want to think about it.
nnt mesti jadi emotional. taksuke.
birthday girl kene happy happy kan?
*senyum lebar lebar nampak semua gigi, smpai hidung kembang teros*

Thanx for the cake Chin, ILY :D