Blame the Hormone

I've been quite moody these few days kan.

Sorry.

Blame The Hormone.

Its my THAT time of month.

:D

:/

sumpah aku nk keluar rumah.

mak, i'm staying because of you.

hope i can stdy outside frm KL, pedalaman pon takpe la. takde duit? FINE, keje kt kedai.
ingt aku ni spoiled brat sgt ke. FAK la weyy. dont make me show my true color la.

I may be 18 yrs old, but trust me, I'm more than that. think I cant be independent. try me.

They kept on looking down upon me. yeaaa. I'm stupid, I didnt get good grades in my study but that wont make me a great prostitute. Know what, I dont want your money, I can find it on my own, but you know I cant. why. oh I cant work. yeaa. i hve to do my fathers job, well I am not interested. he kept on taking advantage of me. oooooow. yea. dasar anak tak kenang budi kan. kene marah sikit, nk post blog, tak hengat ke baba yg bla bla bla. fine. then I owe him big so I cant do anything about it, I cant stand up for myself.

you know what, this is useless. whtaever I say, whatever I do was is never good enough. oww, yea. I cant say anything you know, nnt kate aku belagak Diva. babik.

dh bace tapayah nk memekak, tapayah nk post comment nk nyakitkan hati aku. sia2 aku block kau and sia2 je kene maki hamun dgn aku. ape. ingt si azwan ali je pndai maki hamun la. again, dont make me show my true colors. tolerate a bit. this is my bloog. i can say whtever I want. kalo2 rase bce tu nyakitkan hti kau, tapayah bace. diam2 sudah. mulot kasi ttop. tgn kasi simpan. tapayah gtal2 nk halakn mouse tu nk post comment, type bnde2 bg aku benci kau. tapayah. tengah2 aku period ni, sia2 je aku tempek pad kt muke kau.

watafak !

My first accidient involved car had just happened.

Victim : my father's CRV

wahahaha. sory la baba. telupe dowww *angel face with sweeeeeeeeeeet smile :)
My father parked his car kt tepi jln, we stopped to get some midnite supper at one of the mamak's (not BRJ) at our house area. After we finish, I insist to drive the car to our home. My mom was like TAK NAK, thn i'm like. "bule laaa, bkn nye ape2 pon" . so she like. "yela yela, bwk", and I'm like "hehe". so, I was like confident giler la en, then the stupidity of my brain suddently came. I start the engine, thn tros drive. I am supposed to like turn left a bit, mcm nk amek side sikit kan coz it's like mmg kt corner la. so ape lg, I gon on the divider la. SHIT. the sound was really loud, everyone was looking at us. bodo bodo bodo. luckily it was weekdays nite, imagine if its like on saturday night, tak ke malu bagai. boooodoh la. shit shit shit. mmg dlm hati sumpah seranah bagai la.

then my father had to take over and betol kan kete blek. Luckily its just a minor crash but major scratch at the bottom of the car ( at the tmpt nk pjak msok kete. whoever ade mpv or suv taw la.) and I felt like a shit (Grr. I always felt like a shit kan )

But hey, I've learned my lesson, theres like no fucking way I'm gonna repeat the same mistake.

hopefully it'll be my last accident *cross finger*

confession

its been almost 3 months and frankly to say that I am STILL NOT fully recevered.
on the name of the god, yes. I've felt like a shit.
I just dont know why it is so so hard for me to get over him.
I mean, look at him, he's got himself a new girlfriend. erh.
so much for the "no no, I wont leave you, no matter what happen I'm gonna be there for you cause you are my responsibility"
bullshit .
chop. or maybe he still remember me or our memories together its just that he is so so ego to admit it.
maybe
hah. no wayy.
i can still remember what he text me
he said I am much more mean than him. wtfk.
he text "kmu dan sy takde kene mengene"
god knows how much it hurts.
god knows how much I cried
god knows how pain my chest is.
god knows.
yes, I can say that I am happy now, I can laugh my ass off
but, it wont last longer.
whenever I'm alone, my brain will changed to a time machine, where it will automatically view all our memories together.
again, bullshit.
I cant hear to a hardcore song cause he looove hardcore.
he is the one that introduce me to that kind of music
I cant hear any sound of guitar, it will remembered me of how he is always playing guitar for me
I cant see a man playing a drum because that will remind me of how he used to loooove smashing the skool table with any kind of stick that he can found and later on he will made me kept it for him
I cant sit on the bench in front of my house because that is where I met him for the last time
enough .
there is so so so many things that reminds me of him.
too much to be listed and its wayy priivate and confidential :P
shut ut brain.
stop typing finger.
why, I just dont understand.

to him, come back to me please.
but if you happy now, if you are so comfortable with you new life, your new situation
then, I wish all the happiness.
no matter how hurt I am, but seeing you happy can make me feel better
eventhough your happy without me

p/s : I'm sorry peeps. I dont have anyone to talk with. told you I cant be alone cause this will happen. fak !

bengot

Nk update, tapi tataw nk update pasal ape.

bengot

haha. true is it . :D

to him,

For once in my life

You made me feel alright

I was young. I gave you everything

But it wasn't enough

Yesterday was hell

Everything I did, it's just comes undone

And the hardest fact

You really broke my heart

And I tried to sing

But I couldn’t think of anything

You're just like a sad song with nothing to say

Why'd you have to turn around?

After all that we've been through

Hope is such a waste

Now we're too far gone,

Everything I know is wrong

Was letting go and everything is torn apart

Every breath you take you give me the burdens bitter taste

And nobody knows the rhythm of my heart

But I keep our memory

So together, but so broken up inside

And that was the hardest part

But today I'm fine without you

“Cheer up”, my friends all say

“You're better alone anyways”

But I wish I could touch you again

Run away this time with you

I won't forget you my FRIEND

And all I ever thought you'd be

Whatever happened

I'll keep you locked in my head

And you visit me in my sleep

xoxo
yaa

Jamal Ubaidillah

oooooh. I just got back from KL Convention Centre. I went there with my mom together with my sister's friend, Gha and her hubby. We was there as to show our support at the charity concert, organized by the PENGASIH, a non-government society to help the ex-drug addict gain their confidence back in their mind and help them stop their addiction towards drugs.

The concert is on for 3 days, from Friday until Sunday, starting at 8.30 p.m. Various artist will be performing at the concert as to gain money for the PENGASIH. Me and my mom attend the concert on the Saturday night. The artist that was performing for the concert are Jamal Abdillah, Saleem, Aris Ariwatan, Misha Omar, Blues Gang and Dato' Ahmad Nawab.

yeaaaa. I know its totally weird for a young girl like me attend such a concert. Actually, my father is supposed to go wth my mom and apparently he changed his mind towards the end and forced me to go. Grrr. I'm okay with it, at least I can teman my mom watching her favourite singer in Malaysia, no one else but the breath taking voice, Jamal Abdillah. We bought one of the cheapest ticket price (as everyone knows, a charity concert like this, the tickets are sold in such an expensive price, for donation la kott. haha ) but the best thing is, one of the guys in the theatre gave us the seats at the most expensive tickets (RM300 sumtin). yey ! disebabkan ticket tu mhl kan, tak rmai la yg beli, seat pulak plng dpan, so byk la yg kosong kan, so diaorng pon randomly la choose any of the guests to sit at the expensive place. yeye! guess we're the lucky one.

The show supposed to start at 8.30pm tp mcm biase lah kan, kene tgg la VIP yg lmbt tuh. last2 it was like almost 9pm or 9pm sumtin bru strt. sba je la. I had no idea what song are they singing especially Saleem. haha. mane la aku taw lgu2 diaorng weyy. dgr je lah. Until there this one song title Terharu sang by Jamal and Saleem that got me. I knew the song pon sbb Mawi pernah nyanyi. haha. As the concert is not for Jamal only, so he didnt sing any of the song that I like and he doesnt sang much. yela. lain la kalo ko pgi cncert Jamal, mesti la dia sorng je yg telalak kt stu. well, eventho the organiser had told us not to use any kind of electronic devices, but that wont stop us from taking any pictures, Gha even record some of the show. haha. tak snonoh betol. I dont dare to do it, sia2 je plak kne halau nnt. She got the chance to did it cause I cover it for her so the security didnt see her snapping and recording. I didnt paid much attention cause I was busy exploring Gha's new gadget, the 8GB IPhone by Apple. goooooosh ! I want that for my 18th brthday okay Memy. haha. tak kire, nk jgk. hahahahaha :DD its was fun exploring it and I was busy sms-ing wth my sister (she's at home, couldnt join us cause she had to take care of her kids) taw2, concert pon dh habis. haha. tak snonoh je kan. But I noticed la that Misha Omar sang the lagu hantu, Ku Seru than yg lain2 tu tataw la. Saleem managed to sang the famous song, Ganu Kite ! and Blues Gang sang the Poie Pokan, Naik Basikal song. haha. tataw title ape, but the negeri sembilan pnye lgu la. best pulak. well, what really amazed me is Aris Ariwatan voice. woooooah ! hearing his voice made me think why is such and amazing and incredible voice like him could make it to the top? well, if he does, that was looong time ago. why could he survived 'till today. all I can say is, the new generation of Malaysian is missed out a lot of really JANTAN vocal. what a waste. well, I've snapped a few picture. take a look.

The picture above is my mom and Gha. This was taken after the show, when everybody had gone out of the theathre. Later, we went out and my mom really wanted to go to toilet, tak tahan sangat la tu and Gha insist to wait for Jamal. She wanted to take a picture wth him. Well, needless to say, me and my mom was not that eager to take a picture wth him. This is because we had been attending mostly all of Jamal's show. Concert in Istana Budaya or 3 years straight of Mother's Day Lunch, yups, we went there. As I were saying, my mom is such a big fan of Jamal, so mmg mane2 show mmg la mak ni pg. Dh puas dh dia bergambar, mintak autogrph Jamal sume. Tu la td dia mcm tak heran je. haha. Poor Gha, she's effin excited to take a picture wth Jamal. But you know what, mase kt concert tu en, Jamal looked so so handsome. haha. betol la. dh mcm hero hindustan la pulak. mmg fall in love kejap la. haha. Well, while waiting for Jamal, they talked and chatted with some people and my mom bought a book that was written by Jamal himself, Jalan Lain Ke Sana.

Well, as for me, nobody gonna take my picture, so i took it myself. haha. tgh tgg mak dlm toilet so I snapped a bit. haha. market siket2 la. hello, its my blog okayy :D

hah. you noticed eh. yups, I was wearing the same thing that I wore when I was hanging out wth my girls on the thursday. but hey, at least a different earings okay. today I wore a hoops. haha. striking pink hoops. hahaha. enuff la. tapayah pic besar2 la kan. ckop la tu :P

Well. 'till next time, toodles (:

Ezan, Amira & Ezmira (Part II)

So, the next day we woke up tros hyper. haha. Then the stupid thing happened, I didnt bring my pants. shitto btol. so, dgn muke2 tak mndi nya, Ezan drived me home, amek sluar. haha. ape daaa. before that, we ate our bread pudding for brkfst. sedap ! Ezan doesnt like it, she said its not sweet enuff. thn we didnt made the vanilla sauce cause we ran out of eggs and we're too lazy to buy it. haha. dh kte sume pon tak mndi lg, so mls la nk pi kluar. thn we picked up Wawa's bf and his Russian friend kt LRT. First2 nk lunch same2 kt rumah tp tak jdi pulak, we scared if Ezan;s parents come home early, thn they will see those 2 boys. so, we mndi2, siap2 thn we went to my drivng skool for a while, submit my appliction for the P license thn we send Wawa's bf and the Russian boy named Danielle tp mamak. haha. biar lah diorng lpk2 kt stu.

Then, we came home, had lunch and wait for Ezan's parents to come home. Hujan pon dh turun mase tu. Ezan cant drive pulak. her mom wont let her. So, when her parents came home, then her mom send us to MidValley, padahal nk pgi Bkt Bintang ni. ayoo. ape lg. our journey begins.

Wawa was effin excited cause she hardly go to KL. Her house is at Bkt Lanjan so the only place that she goes is like OU, Curve, hardly been to KL, even Midvlly. So when we arrived in MidValley, we took a cab and went to LRT Masjid Jamek. Then, we took PUTRA to KL Sentral (Wawa is sooo excited :D) later, we met the boys at the KL Sentral and we took a Monorail to Bukit Bintang (Wawa lgi la excited, frst time naik monorail. yey ! ) so, finally, we arrived. But the thing is, we hve to get to Midvalley by 6pm cause Ezan's mom gonna pick us there. alaaaa. we arrived at BB pon dh mcm 3pm sumtin dh. ah ! mls nk fkir, we just go the Arab place and hang there. We talked and snapped pictures and learn a bit of Russian language. haha. Then, Pole came to join the party (Grrr.. nyampah2 dgn mamat ni pon, aku jmp jgk dia taw. bluuek ! tapayah nk pujok2 aku. blah blah blah. haha. tade la. joking. but still. you DICTHER ! nyampah je dgn kau yang ! ♥) So, the clock strikes 5pm and we have to go. kejap je kan. adventure dtg BB thn pgi lpk kt Pak Arab thn balik. haha. tp syok ape. BTW, sorry Wawa, didnt have much time to show you Pavilion. Next time we go there tghther with Ezan, okay syg? . we decided to go back by cab instead. giler kau nk naik LRT pkol 5. ikan sardin la gamak nye. dgn orng2 pffice kluar lg. eeeee... tak sanggop ! but the fuck thing bout it is, the cab rate is damn expensive maan. but Ezan nk jgk naik can, so went back by cab. From Bkit Bntang (dpn the Ship tuh ) to Bnd Tun Razak, the friggin cab driver chrged us RM30. cekik darah baiii. We paid the cab driver wth our closed eye je lah. thn we managed to arrived at home almost 6pm, and luckily Ezan's mom belum kuar rumah lg. She was shocled to see us arrived so early and by ourselves. haha.But before we knocked the door, we snapped some more, even on the cab lg dh snapped :D haha. weird is it. the three of us made the same expression thn we laughed like hell. hahahahaha. dunno la. whn its jst me and Ezan, people thought that we;re twins thn when the three of us get together, people thought that we're sibling, even my mom said so ! haha. I think its our hair la. kembang and curly :DD

We had nasi lemak for dinner. haha. sedap wooo. rase mcm tak ckop je. nk pgi beli lg la. maw maw maw :D thn thts it lah. we jst hang out and took a bunch of picture and now the three of us are like busy online-ing, nk picture msing2. haha. toodles

Ezmira, Ezan & Amira
God took one from me but He gave me 2 as payback. Nothing can replace both of you and I swear I Looooooooooove you girls !
*hugs*kisses*hugss*kissesss*

p/s : to my dearest Chin, condelence to your family, She had lost her beloved grandmother on the April 9th 2008. May her soul rest in peace.